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Title: Jokes


Black Angel - May 7, 2005 01:29 AM (GMT)
Learn Chinese in 2 minutes ...

(Please read definitions aloud for Optimal memory retention)



1) That's not right ..................... Sum Ting Wong

2) Are you harboring a fugitive....... Hu Yu Hai Ding

3) See me ASAP........................ ..Kum Hia Nao

4) Stupid Man ............................ Dum Fuk

5) Small Horse ...................... .... Tai Ni Po Ni

6) Did you go to the beach?........... Wai Yu So Tan

7) I bumped into a coffee table.......Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni

8) I think you need a face lift........ Chin Tu Fat

9) It's very dark in here ............. Wao So Dim

10)I thought you were on a diet....Wai Yu Mun Ching

11) This is a tow away zone .........No Pah King

12) Our meeting is tomorrow ........ Wai Yu Kum Nao

13) Staying out of sight ............. Lei Ying Lo

14) He's cleaning his automobile ...Wa Shing Ka

15) Your body odor is offensive ... Yu Stin Ki Pu

16) Great ............................... Fa Kin Su Pah :lol: :)

MajinTobias - May 7, 2005 02:15 AM (GMT)
Lmao that is effing funny. Did you find that somewhere or did you make that up yourself? Either way really funny.

Black Angel - May 7, 2005 02:53 AM (GMT)
it was posted on a pbs forum :lol:

A.J. The Echidna - May 7, 2005 03:37 PM (GMT)
Pretty funny. There was a picture one where you had to turn your head. It's at funnyjunk.com.

VirusZero - May 19, 2005 08:58 PM (GMT)
ok thats pretty funny.

A.J. The Echidna - May 21, 2005 01:04 PM (GMT)
Yep. You can get some pretty good stuff over there.

Black Angel - June 4, 2005 05:30 PM (GMT)
i am going to rename this topic Jokes what do you think of that? :)

A.J. The Echidna - June 5, 2005 11:52 AM (GMT)
It was Show and Tell day and Johnny was bringing his pet frog. He put it on a leash and walked to school but it got ran over by a car on the way there. When Johnny turn came the around the teacher asked him "Where's your Show and Tell subject Johnny?" "I was bringing my pet frog but on the way here a car ran his ass over. The teacher corrected him "Rectem Johnny, rectem." "Wrecked 'em? It flat out destroyed him."

Black Angel - June 6, 2005 07:48 PM (GMT)
:lol: thats cute.. :)

neo - January 14, 2006 02:39 PM (GMT)
THe last one it the funnyest!!!!! rotflmfao

playgamesites - January 16, 2006 04:23 AM (GMT)
Yeah i have to say that chinese joke was pretty good. Been awhile since i heard
a joke that was funny.

=3lement= - January 16, 2006 04:53 AM (GMT)
It was fa kin hil ar e is


Three Women were about to be executed. ( Blonde Joke )

The guards took the redhead by the hand and lined her up, the guards loaded there weapons and as they aimed she yelled out TORNADO in the confusion she escaped.

The angry guards now took the brunette by the hand and lined her up and as they aimed she yelled out EARTHQUAKE! in the confusion she also escaped.

Now the pissed guards took the blonde by the hand who had relised what the other 3 women had done, as the guards aimed she yelled out FIRE!


Woo... post 4!

Black Angel - January 16, 2006 04:57 AM (GMT)
Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box?

She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, and moaning, "Lie to me!"

playgamesites - January 16, 2006 05:16 AM (GMT)
oooh that was funny BA i'm sorry but i have to tell my friends this one

Black Angel - January 16, 2006 05:30 AM (GMT)
hun.. there's plenty more where that came from.. :)

playgamesites - January 16, 2006 05:59 AM (GMT)
Please.. do tell more

Black Angel - January 16, 2006 06:27 AM (GMT)
ok this is just wrong and im sure ill go to hell for laughing at it so hard..

What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?

Their balls are just for decoration.

playgamesites - January 16, 2006 06:31 AM (GMT)
lol dang girl you mess up XD

Black Angel - January 16, 2006 06:34 AM (GMT)
lol :lol: i know i know.. i am too bad for my own good.. lol when im around bdx im worse.. :)

playgamesites - January 16, 2006 06:42 AM (GMT)
but your username says Black Angel your supose to be good LOL.

Black Angel - January 16, 2006 06:44 AM (GMT)
nah.. it just means that i can be bad when i wanna be.. ;) :lol:

playgamesites - January 16, 2006 06:47 AM (GMT)
i see

playgamesites - January 16, 2006 10:42 PM (GMT)
I got a joke guys! ahem.... alright why do women have boobs?
so we can have somthing to look at while we talking to them.

Black Angel - January 16, 2006 11:09 PM (GMT)
lol heres one and i hope i dont in trouble for it..

Q. What's the purpose of a belly button?

A. To put gum in on the way down.. (<= hilight for answer) :lol: :)

playgamesites - January 16, 2006 11:24 PM (GMT)
lol *falls off chair*

neo - January 27, 2006 01:33 PM (GMT)
Q: what do you call a man with no legs or arms floating in the watter?

A:Bob [hilight]

Black Angel - January 28, 2006 12:47 AM (GMT)
heres one..

Q. What happened to the cheerleader when she did a split?

A. About 20 class rings fell out.. (<= hilight for answer) :lol: :)

neo - January 29, 2006 03:06 AM (GMT)
LOL!!

BlackDevilX - June 12, 2006 05:21 AM (GMT)
EWWWW HELLO!

thefishofdoom - June 12, 2006 05:27 AM (GMT)
ewww lololoollol

VirusZero - September 5, 2006 10:03 PM (GMT)
Are Computers Male or Female?
A language teacher was explaining to her class that in French, nouns unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine.

"House" in French, is feminine -"la maison," "Pencil" in French, is masculine "le crayon."

One puzzled student asked, "What gender is computer?" The teacher did not know, and the word was not in her French dictionary. So for fun she split the class into two groups appropriately enough, by gender and asked them to decide whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The men's group decided that computer should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later review

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine "le computer") because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realise that if you had waited a little longer you could have gotten a better model.


BlackCloudX - September 5, 2006 11:09 PM (GMT)
LOL i remember back then in high school i asked that question ...it wasnt frnch class though

luckily i didnt get the answer

but WTF our mistakes are stored? i never knew that

VirusZero - September 6, 2006 12:29 AM (GMT)
yeah the mistakes are stored, ever seen an error log, pretty well all programs have one and they are often terribly complex to look and understand.

Mr. Nest - September 21, 2006 07:12 AM (GMT)
so a boy is sitting in church when he is feeling a litty dizzy. he turns to his mother and says" i think i have to throw up" his mother told him that there was a field out back where he could, and to run around the building where he could go. less then a minute later he comes running back in to the church. his mother looked at him and said "wow that was fast!"
the boy replied," i know there was a box outside that said , for the sick"

Mr. Nest - September 21, 2006 07:22 AM (GMT)
Gas Problem

Little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much.

My farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent."

The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week."

The next week the lady comes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts... although still silent... stink terribly."

The doctor says, "Good!!! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing.

Sephiroth - September 21, 2006 08:59 PM (GMT)
:lol: :lol: :lol:

blazing_heartnix - December 4, 2006 12:00 AM (GMT)
get ready to laugh!

theres a rabbit and a bear that were very close friends, they were walking in the forest when they saw a lamp. they rubbed it and a gennie came out.
genie: ill grant u 3 wishes each lets start with u bear whats ur first wish?
bear: i want to be the only male bear in this forest WHAM hes the only male bear in the forest.
genie: rabbit ur first wish
rabbit: i want a helmet!
bear: a HELMET? WHAM
genie: ur 2d wish, bear
bear: i want to be the only male bear in the world WHAM
genie: rabbit 2d wish
rabbit: i want a motor bike!
bear: a MOTOR BIKE what for?!
genie: alright bear final wish
bear: i want to be the only male bear in the entire universe WHAM
genie: rabbit your turn
rabbit: you know what i want? that the bear beside me was gay. GANGANGAN! ( motor bike sound)

blazing_heartnix - December 4, 2006 12:12 AM (GMT)
and im still not done ( these are popular here in PUERTO RICO)

PEPITO was in english class and the teacher says Maria tell me a sentence with the color red. Maria: this apple is red. Sergio tell me a sentence with the color yellow. "the sun is yellow". Pepito tell me a sentence with the colors green, yellow, pink. Pepito: GREEN, GREEN, GREEN, YELLOW, YELLOW, PINK!
( telephone imitation with the colors)

blazing_heartnix - December 4, 2006 12:25 AM (GMT)
U guys touched my favorite topic!

In the jungle the owl summons the animals to a meeting. Owl: Animals of the jungle today well have a party. the frog comes out of nowere and says: THAT"S AWESOME!, THAT'S AWESOME!(while claping his hands) OWL: with music... FROG: THAT"S AWESOME!, THAT'S AWESOME! OWL: and candy... FROG: THAT"S AWESOME!, THAT'S AWESOME! OWL: and the one who has a big mouth does'nt
eat FROG: *GASP* the crocodile's screwed up. lol (for those who didn't get it the owl meant the frog for mouthing off)

blazing_heartnix - February 19, 2007 11:41 PM (GMT)
I'mmmm baaaaackkk!!!

here's several ( so i don't have to post more than once)

Pepito time!!

pepito's mom tells him to go to the store and buy rubber balls, along the way he sees a parade with a giant gorrilla. he goes home and tell her mother"i saw gorrilla with huge arms, huge legs and a big head"
mom: pepito and the balls?
pepito: HUGE MOTHER HUGE!!

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there's a parrot that loves making phone calls; his owner (was going on vacation) tell him don't call anywere! and leaves, when the owner returns she finds a bill with 50 calls to Europe 30 calls to japan and 3 calls to Puerto Rico. she grabs the bird and tells him she was going to punish him owner: i'm gonna put u in the freezer no because u'll freeze, throw u in the toilet no because u'll drown, i know i'll crusify u! she ties the parrot's wings and legs and hang him next to the cross ( above Jesus Crist head reads INRI) the parrot says: psst psst INRI how many years are u been in the cross? Jesus:4,000 years parrot: where the fuk did u call?

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what do u call many spots on the floor in multi-colors? ants on field day! :rolleyes:

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what do u call a purple spot that flies? Super Grape!! :)

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oh and =3lement= that blonde joke i heard the same one but with an American a Puertorrican and a Dominican. (the dominican gets screwed not the blonde one)
:-_-:




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