Hey, here's a joke of mine, hope you like it.

There was a violinist travelling in Africa, when suddendly he was surrounded by lions, he remembered that someone told him that music was able to calm down wild animals, so he took out his violind and started to play it. No soon he started when the lions seemed to calm down, he tought he was going to make it trough when all of a sudden a lion pounced on him and ate him. Among the pack of of the lions complained: "Crud! It was such a nice concert! Why did it had to be ruined by the Deaf?"

I get it but it's not very funny

Well.................it's an interesting joke, but............................not very funny..........don't you know any other jokes?...............

THAT SUCKED!!!

meh, try next time

Okay, everyone, I got the message. Let's try again, shall we?

Here's the dialogue between a optometrist and a pacient:

OPTOMETRIST: Well, by the way I look, you don't have a single anomaly on you sight.

PACIENT: No, Doctor. Please test my sight again.

OPTOMETRIST: If you insist (does so). There, these test say that you are perfectly fine.

PACIENT: No. I'm not fine, Doctor. Make those tests again.

OPTOMETRIST: Okay (does so). And it says that your eyes are completely healthy.

PACIENT: No. There is something wrong in my eyes. I know there's something wrong.

OPTOMETRIST: How so? The tests state the other way around.

PACIENT: In that case: How is it that ever since I got married I can't see a single penny?

Well...........it was...............if you twist the................................no no still not funny

as fish stated not funny

Definently not funny.

now buddy, i am not a bad guy, i am a good person, but the thing about me is, i am a honest person, very honest, and i have to say.......THAT FREAKIN SUCKED SO BAD, keep trying though! make me laugh and u gain respect

I hate it when you say you got a funny joke... and they laugh....Anyway i made a couple up

I can see the light!.............. And now i can't

You may of heard of this one but i made 2 more for it!

Join the dark side! We have cookies!

The dark side have no emotions..... Arrr look a the lil cute puppy!

All who oppose the dark side will die! Is that a doctors note? Ok you can live!

Well....it's better....but...huh.....try harder kid............

I cant die im algereg to dieing

One woman goes to a pet shop and the salesman offers her something unique.

"This little critter is called Triki-Triki" he says

"And what does he do?" asks the woman.

"See that filled garbage can? Now I'll show you: Triki-Triki, the garbage can"

*GRUMBLE GRUMBLE*

And the critter, although very small, ate the carbage can. The lady is more than pleased and buys the animal and she's eager to do a test drive

"Triki-Triki, the fridge"

*GRUMBLE GRUMBLE*

"Triki-Triki, the microwave"

*GRUMBLE GRUMBLE*

A couple of hours later, the husband arrives and finds that nearly everything in the house is GONE. He goes to his wife, demanding an explanation.

"I just that I bought something" she answers.

"Now what nonsense you bought that had you lost almost everything in the house?"

"This new pet named Triki-Triki"

"Triki-Triki? Triki-Triki, my b*lls..."

I'm afraid I don't ge-OH MY GOD I JUST GOT IT!


;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Looks like you've got yourself a hit.

lol, that one was actually somewhat good. =P

gaha! jus got it. It's funnier then the other jokes. all i can say is.....ouch >.O

O_o wow

Hahaha, Ouch though...

ok now that one is funny

Okay, here's another one. I just hope I'm putting this in the right place.


After God created Adam and Eve, everything seemed to go steady, until Adam wanted to talk to him.

"I'm grateful for everything you gave me" Adam said "But, even if I'm enjoying existence with Eve, I can't come up with something new"

"Well.." said God "You can embrace her"

"But...what's 'embracing'?"

God was a little nervous but he still answered "It's easy, you wrap your arms around her and bring her closer to you"

"Okay, I'll try, thanks"

An hour later Adam came back, really happy with the results, but he wanted something more.

"Well, you can kiss her"

"But, what's 'kissing'?" asked Adam

God got more nervous, however he could answer "Well, you just bring her lips to yours"

Adam was grateful for the tip and left, two hours later he returned, at the edge of ectasy.

"God, that was wonderful. But I have the feeling I can do something better"

"Well... you can... 'do it' with her"

"And what's 'doing it' with her"

Now God was in deep trouble, if someone could see his face, one would swear it was more crimson and hot that Hell. He decided he should explain it all to Adam, he was REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE, though. Adam listened everything and left.

He came back one minute later

"God, what's a 'headache'?"

Oh that was a good one.

That Triki Triki joke came from another joke, it was called voodoo dick. Sorry to burst your bubble kid XD Aaannnddd That was a pretty good one up there XD