this was an email i recieved today of actual questions people asked about canada, can you believe some of this stuff? as a neighbour to the north i can say this is hilarious, one second, my polar bear powered igloo is freezing over and the bear is getting tired let me get him a beer and he'll be fine. (read below to understand this joke)
Subject: 2010 Winter Olympics
Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter
Olympics these are some questions people the world over are
asking!!!!
Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an
International Tourism Website (frightening, isn't it!)
Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really
asked!!!!!.
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants
grow?(UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and
watch them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the
Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure,
it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places
to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.
Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me
a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada?
(USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it.
Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come
naked.
Q: Which direction is North in
Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get
here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y,
which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every
Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the
hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.
Can you sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in British
Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male
population? (Italy)
A: Yes, strange nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all
year round?(Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers.
Milk is illegal.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I
forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating
the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them
off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out
walking.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
Please send this on to any who you think will enjoy it as much as
I have.
lol. i like the plants one.
yah but thats the only one i read lol!
lol read the rest there funny